Monday, March 29, 2010

Attitude Adjustment


Hi Everybody!

I took a well-appreciated Saturday off last weekend and did one of my favorite things--puttering around the house.
I wasn't thinking about running the business or sitting at the computer. I sat in the dirt in the garden and rode bikes to the "corner store" with my son. Thank goodness spring weather like this is becoming more and more the norm (though it's hailing outside right now!!).
This weekend, my mind was empty, slow, and at ease. But one chance encounter got it all wound up again. I ended up meeting an individual that made a strong impression on me. I could tell this person puts a lot of energy into convincing others and has obviously convinced themself. Of what, you ask? Were they enthusiastic about a great new passion? About the steps they are planning in an area of their life? Were they going on and on about the fear they felt but how excited they were at the opportunities on the other side? Hardly. Much of the 30 minute conversation I had with this person was blaming with a capital "B".

"I WANT to improve my health, but as long as (insert girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, mother, dog, boss) doesn't improve either, I just won't be able to."

"I DON'T have (list 5 important things to having a happy life) because of (insert any of the above people) and the choices they made that effected me."


"I'm HELPLESS because (you get the idea here)."


At first, I listened politely. I even felt bad. I thought about how I could help. But I just kept listening. I saw that this person put a whole lot of energy into explaining why NOT. And not any of the reasons included THEMSELF. And they seemed to really enjoy sharing every detail of why NOT. It's one thing if someone is having a bad day...it's quite another when they are having a bad LIFE. Apparently, not ONE thing in this persons personal, career, health, or spiritual life was even aiming in a helpful direction. If that was me, that would be pretty depressing. But this individual seemed pretty content with their truth they were so dissatisfied with.
Seeing this, I debated on whether I should even TRY to suggest that maybe this person could change things for themselves. I'm a serious optimist. I know opportunities arise for people in the most unlikeliest situations....but unsolicited advice, you know, is not always popular...so I chose my words carefully and as a result didn't end up speaking too much. I listened and I learned. By consciously putting myself in a "listening and learning" mindset, it protected me from soaking up some of the "ick" that I can take away after talking with a negatively-focused person or some who has emotionally dumped on me. Recognizing it. Naming it in your mind. That was the first step for me to realize that I was making a choice to stay separate, no matter how subtle and convincing those excuses sounded, especially with someone who has mastered the art at communicating them in a way that shouted "I think my life sucks, it's everyone elses fault, and don't you DARE try to blame me for any of this."

Like I said, they made a real impression on me!
Nothing is more disappointing than talking to a person that doesn't realize how amazing it is to be alive right now, here! Never in a time in history has the average person had so much access to peace and information....it has never been easier to learn more about ANYTHING, speak FREELY, and custom-design a life around your own personal starting point. And to meet a person seemingly unaware of their personal power, to the point that they resist the suggestion of it. Man that sucks! We don't have to SETTLE for unhealthy relationships. We don't have to settle for an unhappy life.

In my early 20s, I started to recognize how attitude effects everything, the way I looked at the world started to shift, and that totally intriegued me. I wanted to test it. I wanted to prove that my "old" way wasn't so bad...but once I began to see the changes in how I felt every day, and how there all of a sudden seemed like there was plenty of good and exciting things to talk about, I saw that it was no joke.

Listen to what comes out of your mouth and how. Do you like how you sound? Do you want to change it? Simply noticing.....it can have a HUGE effect on your happiness and your enthusiasm for life. Have you noticed the same things, in yourself or people you live with, or at work? What do you think?





3 comments:

Mandy McMahan said...

Love this. Thank you.

Simply Divine Photography said...

Thank you for my much needed wake-up call or pep talk - call it whatever you'd like to...it made me think and therefore act upon what I read!
Well done :)

Keri Kay said...

Well said! I love the light in those photos!